There, but for the Grace of God

Stan Moody:

You may be wondering why the blog is a little late these past weeks. I had a seizure at home and went to the ER by ambulance. They did a CT scan and discovered that I had a brain tumor. I was rushed to Portland and told that I had to have brain surgery last Monday.

The surgery went well. The neurosurgeon said that type of tumor couldn’t be identified by sight. There are two possibilities: it could be an infection, hence, curable with IV antibiotics at home for a month; it could be a cancerous tumor. If it was a tumor, there was no chance that it would be benign. They had to do a culture to determine if it was an infection, so we had to wait 2 days to find out. Thank God is was an infection.

Although physically, I have no needs except being treated for the infection, my expressive language is really impaired due to the swelling in my brain. I will recover this ability, but it may take a few weeks or months. This is a learning experience for me. I have always been a leader, a fixer, a rescuer of those in need. It is rare for me to feel vulnerable and in need of care.

I might say, “There, but for the grace of God, go I.” But God’s grace is not only with those who have a good prognosis. God’s grace is with us even when we get bad news. Suffering and death are part of our earthly life here and God’s presence is with us even, and maybe especially, at those times. Christ, as man, experienced all the pain and suffering of humanity, and, as God, can empathize with us as we suffer. Here, amidst the grace of God, go we.

I will need reminders of that as I move through recovery over the next few months.